Good-bye Miller Manor

After sixteen years and thousands of memories, we have sold Miller Manor to a young family and have bought a newer home very close to Ornery's work. I am not going to post here anymore, and if you are a regular reader here you already know that, but if you have stumbled upon this blog and wonder why this is the most recent post, that is the reason.

It has been a wonderful journey into blogging here at Thoughts from Miller Manor over the last four years, and I have met so many interesting friends here. If you are interested in reading about the next chapter of our lives, please drop me an email at orneryswife(at)gmail(dot)com and I will send you an invitation to read our new private blog you can find us here.  Thank you for dropping by!
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A Clean Slate

While packing up the last of our bedroom yesterday, I realized that when we move into Zoe Cottage and have a closet twice the size as the one we have shared for the last 16 years, I will be able to move out of the night stand, guest closet and armoire full of plastic boxes that have housed my clothes for the last few years, and into 1/2 the dresser that currently houses Ornery's clothes since I will be able to hang more of his clothes! That means we will both be hunting for things for several months after we move since none of our known dressing routines will be the same.

Other routines will change as well, and once we get moved in we'll be jumping back on the healthy living bandwagon after eating out (and poorly) for the last few months. I didn't think I would miss the sauna for the few weeks it has been apart, but sure enough, I have thought several times I would like to sit in there for a while. With the very short commute to work leaving more waking time in the day, Ornery and I hope to start walking again in the morning, and we'll have more time to spend in purposeful pursuits after work.

Tomorrow is the big day! Early we rise to load the cars of the things we will carry over that way, then the movers arrive around 8:15 or so. We close at 12:30 on Miller Manor, and go directly from there to the closing on Zoe Cottage. By then the movers should be done and ready to unload at the new place.  So far everything has gone like clockwork, and we couldn't have asked for a better team of people to work with.

I sent out a bunch of invitations yesterday for my new blog but there is a short window of opportunity to reply, so if you got an invitation and want to keep up with our story online, you'll need to act quickly.  If you didn't get one but want to keep reading, please send me an email or leave your email address in a comment so I can invite you. I won't be posting here anymore, and while I intend to keep the blog online (as well as Recipes from Miller Manor and Miller Manor Designs) I am not going to be updating any of the old blogs associated with Miller Manor.  I really am starting with a clean slate.

Sounds of Saturday

Happy Saturday! It is fairly quiet around here as we wrap up the last of our preparations for the big move on Monday.  Well, I say it is quiet until I stop to think about the sounds I am hearing...

• Quiet chatter of the clerks at Panera as they go about their work while we eat our breakfast
• Ornery and me laughing out loud while recalling various scenes of a stupid movie
• Scratching sound of a pen on paper as we draw out the floor plan and list of items needed for the new garage space
• Buzz of a neighbor's chain saw as they trim some trees
• Whirring, clattering and clinking sound of Ornery removing the mirror from the dresser in our room with his drill and dropping the screws into a bag for later reassembly
• Screeching sound of the end of a five year old roll of duct tape as it unfurls around a mirror box containing the last of our wall hangings
• Tones of the Addams Family theme song as my phone rings
• Ripping sound of the tape as I take it off a box I had already packed to find something Ornery needed, and again to put something in a different box that I had left out by accident
• Clinking of a pile of keys while Ornery rummages through to find the shed key
• Seal-like barks of the dog behind us as Ornery opens the shed to remove the lawn mower
• Droning sound of the mower as he cuts Miller Manor's lawn for the last time
• Puttering of the weed eater as he trims the overgrown edges around the yard for the last time...
• Chirping songs of robins and other birds as they enjoy the cool morning
• Squeak of rubber wheels on tile floor as we shuffle boxes from one room to another with the dolly
• Swish of the metal gun safe as it is moved across the carpet from the closet in preparation for the move
• Squeal of surprise as Ornery has a bit of fun with his wife
• Airplane sounds as the washing machine spins out the water from the last loads of laundry

We hope to also hear some worship songs and teaching this evening as well as voices of friends calling out greetings, and according to the forecast we'll possibly hear a bit of thunder and rain. Otherwise, it is a pretty quiet day...

Rainy Days and Friday!

The weather has certainly decided to show a variety of facets to us lately! Today we woke up to rain and it looks like we will be going to sleep to the same! It stopped briefly this afternoon, but not enough to let anything dry up. It means we won't be able to mow the yard as we had planned, but the grass is certainly greening up nicely! :)

I think we are all packed except for the last minute stuff.  There are a few things that we will take care of this weekend, and Monday will be CrAzY busy, but I am really much more prepared than I have ever been in previous moves. At least that I can recall--it HAS been 16 years...The moving company called today to check in, and I asked if they had missed my calls for boxes, she said, "Yes!" I am sure she was being sarcastic! I am very excited about it, and with only the weekend to get through, it will be here before we know it!

I had a bit of time to read some of the news today.  Crazy stuff going on--end of the world, 517 migrants trying to come to the US and detained in Mexico, and most of them from Guatemala, and more. I am glad I don't spend a lot of time on those news sites--they are pretty depressing, not to mention very subjective! I doubt I will have much time to think about the news for the next few weeks, and that is OK by me!

We really appreciated all the anniversary wishes yesterday.  It was a nice day, and we celebrated as best we could with all our things packed up! We usually look at our wedding photos, and some of the other scrapbooks that document our dating days and the early married years.  Once we get settled in, hopefully we will take some time to revisit those early days again.

Happy Weekend, everyone!

Quick Post

I had written my Thursday Thirteen post earlier in the week (I just love blogger's delayed posting option!) but I wanted to note here that we got the call yesterday that all is finally set for the closings.  The buyer of our buyers' house FINALLY got the final approval yesterday.  Talk about just getting in under the wire!  We were all sweatin' it for a few days because if the first buyer failed to qualify, we were stuck with a bunch of packed boxes and nowhere to go!

We are getting a little more money back at closing than we thought we would, but that is really very nice! We went last night over to Sam's Club and got a card again after being non-members for a couple of years. We were excited to find some Gladiator garage organization stuff there, actually quite a bit of it, for some really good prices (comparably--they are still spendy!)  It will mean that Ornery won't have to build all the cabinets as he thought he would.  I am relieved, because he should be able to assemble these items in a much shorter time than if he had to build something from scratch, meaning the garage will sooner be organized! Ahh.

The kitchen is done, and all I lack is our room.  Four more days!

Thursday 13: Happiness is Being Married to Your Best Friend

Today Ornery and I celebrate 32 years of wedded bliss. There is no one I would rather spend my life with than this gentle, funny guy who knows just how to make me feel like a cherished and adored queen, and encourages me to be myself without censure.

We have had an empty nest for a little over four years now and while the lack of children at home took a little adjusting, I have to wonder if I had known how wonderful life with him would be "after" if I would have pushed to have kids in the first place!  I really do love my kids, and I am glad we had them, but even with as much love, time and energy as I poured into their lives I have to say I think this time in our lives is better than any other so far.

It has been a long time since I posted a Thursday 13 list, but I thought in honor of our anniversary I would give a list of 13 things we have done to keep our love alive and fresh.

1. Never leave the house in the middle of an argument. Can you imagine the grief the remaining spouse would feel if something were to happen to you--never being able to make it right, wondering if they were the cause of losing you or whether you were gone for good?  The potential for permanent relational damage is not worth the tantrum!
2. Never say anything that is demeaning or embarrassing--in private or in public.  If you see something in their life that you think needs to be changed, private honest communication is better than harsh teasing or innuendo. The couples who say hurtful things about their spouses in public make everyone uncomfortable, especially the spouse if he/she is present!  A deep and abiding love is not something to make light of, but a rare and treasured gift!
3. Remember we are on the same team. While we may choose different methods to reach an end, the most important part is that we arrive together and in harmony.  There is no right or wrong way because each method relies on our perspective, which is almost always different from our spouse's! Clearly communicating our perspective without offending and being open to the other perspective will pave a smooth path for compromise so both parties emerge as winners.
4. My problems are MY problems, not yours. If I am angry, it is not because YOU did something, but because I chose to affix significance to what happened.  As long as I hold myself responsible for my own feelings, you will not need to defend yourself, thus causing more friction.
5. Never go to bed angry, either with each other or with someone else. Even if it is an outside circumstance, it is easy to transfer the anger to your spouse.  If there is no way to resolve the issue right then, at least take a few minutes to release the emotion attached to it by saying, "I release this anger, it is of no benefit to me." It is really that simple.
6. Give and receive graciously, especially compliments and kind remarks.  I tell Ornery often that he is perfect, and in my sight (and in God's because he is in Jesus!) he IS perfect.  I know there are areas he would like to change about himself, (and there are areas I would like to change about myself as well) but when I remind him of my love in that way, he feels ten feet tall and like he can face any challenge that may come his way with me by his side.  When he tells me I am perfect, I know he is looking through the eyes of love, but I want to be perfect because he believes me to be so. 
7. If you want something, be specific--no mind readers live here. This means there may not be a lot of surprises, but that can be a good thing!  I used to "wish" that Ornery would bring me flowers, but once I started buying exactly what I wanted and thanking him for it, we were both much happier for it!  If we are grocery shopping together (which we usually are) he will often ask if I want some flowers, and sometimes I do, but other times I know we are going to be gone too much for me to enjoy them.  I appreciate his generosity and willingness to do something frivolous for me even if I am often too tight-fisted practical to do it for myself.
8. Spend lots of time dreaming together.  Talk about where you would like to go, what things you'd like to see, people you'd like to meet, etc.  Then work toward those you find worthwhile.  It is not kind for one spouse to sabotage the other's dreams through overspending or denying their importance. Likewise, not all our dreams include the other person, such as Ornery's dream of flying again. Realizing that if that makes him happy, it would be selfish to keep him from it, I know I will do whatever it takes to help him reach his dreams and goals.
9. Be yourself.  The only thing worse than not being loved for yourself is being loved for someone you are not.  
10. Notice the little things that make your spouse happy and make them a part of your day as well.  Ornery likes the bed to be made, so I try to do that every day even though it is not really important to me.  I like to have the clothes put in the hamper instead of left on the floor, so he is careful to always make sure his clothes make it into the basket. We aren't always successful with the follow through, but often enough we don't get frustrated that our wishes are not being considered. There are hundreds of little insignificant things we do for each other every day that add up and show the other person how much they mean to us.
11. Do all you can to make the other person's life simpler. We are generous with time and energy to each other.  There are things he can do better than I can, and he willingly (without nagging) does them without complaint. Similarly, I make sure his life runs smoothly by taking care of hundreds of little details that he doesn't enjoy doing, and in fact forgets even need to be done!  When we come upon something neither of us enjoys, we share that as well, knowing that a shared burden is only half as heavy.
12. Understand that we are different, and rather than feel frustrated by that, learn to capitalize on it.  Ornery and I could not be more opposite if we tried.  He is quiet, gentle and peace loving, with the tendency to think things through to the death.  I am loud, wild and confrontational and make snap decisions.  He is slow and methodical, I am fast and furious!  Through the years I have discovered ways to communicate that were not intimidating to him, and he has learned that it is okay to be more abrupt and outspoken than he would normally have chosen.  This has been a huge part of our marital success.
13. Laugh together often.  Find humor in things that would normally be painful and look for the bright side in every situation.  When one is down, the other is there to pick them up.  Laughing together is probably the greatest gift we give each other, and we do it a lot!

There are many other little things we have found through the years, both things that work and things that don't, but these are enough to make any marriage a happier one.  We both entered our marriage young (I was 19!) and with a lot of "baggage" to work through, but through trial and error, and by the grace of God we have discovered a haven in the midst of turmoil and been blessed beyond measure with a deep abiding love. 

Only FIVE MORE DAYS!!

My heart is fluttering with excitement and my grin is wider than a Cheshire Cat's as we are counting down the last few days until our move.  It is happening so fast, and yet not nearly fast enough!

Last night I finally parted with some of Ornery's hard earned cash to buy some new (green!) sheets for our bed and some dishes at JC Penney's. We ended up with six green large square dinner plates, ten small square salad/snack plates that are white with green leaves on them, and eight small square green bowls.  We first looked at Pier 1 Imports to see if we liked any of those dishes better, but after seeing them in person, the pattern I thought I liked from the photos online didn't appeal. I did find some fun table linens there that I might go back and pick up later, though.  Pier 1 has a lot of brightly colored things that appeal to me.

I didn't end up finishing the kitchen yesterday as I had planned.  I did get the water hook-up taken care of after wandering all over downtown Broken Arrow getting frustrated at the woman who told me where the utilities office was.  She said it was on Detroit, it turned out to be on Dallas, which is about four blocks away. The city provides four large rolls of trash bags for each house each year, but all trash must be bagged, so I guess they figured they should provide that for you... It's a nice idea.  They are much more restrictive about the trash they are willing to haul, which means you have to figure out some other way to get rid of things.

I am pretty sure after we get moved we will be trading in the heap Jeep for a pick-up truck. Every day when Ornery goes to work I cross my fingers that he'll make it there and back without incident and that we can trade it off before the thing falls apart completely.  The van isn't in much better condition, but it has about 1/2 as many miles on it, so we are hoping it will last another year or two.

My sister in AZ made an offer on a house and it was accepted last night, so they will be moving in 6-8 weeks, depending on when the buyer of their old house closes that deal. They hope to be able to lay some tile and do a few other things to it before they move in.  It seems like 2011 is the year for lots of people to shuffle their stuff!

Blogging from Panera

I'm blogging at Panera for the second day in a row since all the tables except the tiny one in the kitchen have been disassembled--the desks as well.  I assure you it is no hardship...

We are less than a week away from our move! Yesterday I got more of the kitchen packed, and plan to finish it off today. All the glassware except a few dishes we will use the rest of the week are now in boxes, and all the upper cabinets are completely empty. The cabinet under the sink is the biggest "problem child" remaining with all those cleaners and such. It would be really bad if they spilled in transit...

I spoke with the mortgage representative yesterday and she said everything is moving along apace.  It may be that we can close on the new house a little earlier than 2:00 PM, but we'll just have to wait and see.  I also took care of all the utilities yesterday except the City for the new house. I will have to take the application in for that, and hope to do that today or tomorrow.  I find it somewhat aggravating that all the other services are with the same companies we currently have, and they are still charging us hook-up fees--between the internet, electric and gas it will be $77.00 just to transfer service.  At least they will be added to the first bill instead of having to be paid up front.

I tried to change my address with the library last night, but I must present a piece of mail or other proof of my new address.  I'll just wait until they require me to update, which they do annually. So much for trying to be efficient. There are just a few other businesses I will need to change with, including the bank, but I think I'll wait until the move actually occurs for the rest.  We get so little actual mail since we do everything on line anymore that it doesn't seem very urgent, and the mail we do get is the kind that goes straight to the trash...

Ornery has had to dust off some of his web development skills this week.  Impact has asked for volunteers for a big project they are working on, and he answered the call.  Unfortunately, I packed all his dot-net books... His evenings have been full of much more intellectual pursuits than mine have. :)

The weather has been so pretty these past few days.  It is cooler than we usually expect this time of year, but I have really enjoyed the vivid blue skies with the white puffy clouds and soft breezes.  I just hope it stays this nice until after we get moved. At least we are not moving over Memorial Day; historically that is one of the worst weather days of the year.  I can't remember how many years we have experienced torrential downpours and major flooding over that weekend, but it is enough to remark upon.

I think it is interesting that when we listed our house I wrote that we hoped to be moved in before the end of June, and as we worked feverishly to sell the place I moved the desired date up to Memorial Day weekend (for fear we would kill ourselves trying to get everything painted!)  I am very pleased that it has turned out even better than I had hoped!  It will be exactly 11 weeks from the date we listed until we close. Amazing.